Redwall Western Style
by Dartpaw23
Summary: What if Redwall society evolved into the old west?  This is what I imagine it would be like.


We all know Redwall is Time-locked in a time similar to our middle ages. What if it evolved from there?

And if this isn't accurate. Remember... this was meant to be a theory of the Redwall world's future not a precise depiction of the old west.

An old badger sat on his porch. He lived in a farmhouse on a prairie.

He was reading the newspaper.  
>"The Phelps twins strike again!" was the headline.<br>The Phelps twins were brother and sister foxes who had been raiding stagecoaches for several years now.  
>The lawmen had tried tracking them down but with no luck.<br>The Badger's teenage granddaugher put on a satchel and walked outside.  
>'Bye Gramps!' she said cheerfully.<br>The elderly badger whose name was Lucas Dublen. Waggled a cane at her.  
>'Where are you headin' off to?'<br>She gave a light smile, 'Didn't Ma tell you? I'm going into law enforcement. I'm going to be a sheriff someday.'  
>Her grandfather snorted, 'Just stay at home and raise crops with us. You have farming blood not killing blood.'<p>

Since Mossflower was to Redwall as Britian was to us.  
>This area called Dryflats was equal to our Kansas. Far far far away from the current Mossflower.<br>'I don't mean to kill. I mean to lay justice. Bring down bad guys and be a hero.'  
>Lucas told his granddaughter his thoughts.<br>'Creatures don't become heroes solely to be heroes, they do it because they know others need help. They never put themselves first. Remember that missy.'  
>Her mother and father came out to see her off.<br>Her mother was pregnant with her little brother and wore a bonnet. Her father leaned against the door frame smoking a pipe.  
>'Kill a ferret for me!' He called to her.<br>She ignored that remark and walked away. She wanted to be a passive sheriff.

She had a small pistol in her pocket in case of emergencies.  
>She sat on a bench for two hours in the sweltering heat in the middle of nowhere.<br>'Golly it's scorching out. I mean... the heat is unbearable.'  
>An young otter (The only other one there) next to her agreed.<br>'The next stagecoach should be arriving soon. Where are you headed?'  
>The otter was barely older than sixteen and this was his first time out in the world. He wanted to be a banker.<br>She explained her dream of being a sheriff.

The otter wiped his brow with a cloth, 'I bet you're gonna try and catch the Phelps twins. No-one had chased them and lived. Dexter Phelps can shoot the wings off of a butterfly fifty feet away. Never had a better marksbeast lived.'  
>She disagreed, 'I've heard of better. Ever since the library in the nearby city was built I've read history books of warriors. Strong ones... Ever hear of Lord Brocktree?'<br>'I reckon I haven't was he a king?'  
>'King of Salamandastron. He led an army into battle against one of the largest armies of vermin ever seen. Drove them all off. Sadly Salamandastron is crumbling and is mainly just for sight-seeing tourists.'<p>

The otter laid back on the bench with his paws behind his head looking upwards.  
>'That's near Mossflower. Isn't that where the world's leading monarchs live?'<br>'Yeah. The King of Mossflower. King Alex Broadstripe the fourth. You don't read much do you?'  
>The otter snorted, 'Never got an education... never learned to read.'<br>'Yet you want to be a banker?'  
>'I can count alright. I did nothing but count when I was little.'<p>

The otter was wearing a bluish-grey vest and a flatcap. (Aka the kind of hat Brian Jacques wears)  
>'I was just headin' to anywhere. The first city I find to gain my fortune but wherever you're heading is fine with me. Personally I'd feel safe if you were sheriff.'<br>'What's your name?' she asked.  
>'Jeremy, Jeremy Grant.'<br>'Nice to meet you I'm Marin Bluestripe.'

Though the animals for a long time started adopting more modern names many many many families kept names from uncountable generations before them.

The stagecoach arrived. Since there were no horses the entire thing was pawdriven by a crank which they would turn to propel the wheels. But eventually that idea was scraps when it was too much of a strain on the turner's wrists. So they used ropes and pulleys to automatically turn it. Though there were other cranks to turn it left and right which were used manually.

They paid and got on, and were sitting between two hedgehogs.  
>A rich married couple.<br>Cassandra and Milton Quillbuck. Milton wore a tophat and monocle. Cassandra wore fancy jewelry and never put down her glass of wine.

The stagecoach went along with several moles turning the cranks from time to time and the owner of the Stagecoach.  
>Marin and Jeremy tried to strike a conversation with the snobby hedgehogs but they refused to talk to "Riff-Raff"<p>

The staegcoach stopped abruptly and Jeremy bumped Cassandra's arm causing her to spill her drink.  
>'YOU CLUMSY BOY! THAT WAS VINTAGE WINE! THE BARREL COST ME 200 DOLLARS! DO YOU KNOW HOW OLD IT WAS?'<p>

Jeremy whimpered.  
>She screamed right in his face. 'It was made in Redwall Abbey centuries ago!'<br>Redwall Abbey to this day was still world famous and since had a city built around it called Redwall City. With houses, and inns, and shops and of course the old Abbey. With tradition the city had many gardens and ponds and orchards.  
>The Abbey was now a museum. Creatures would come in to read about it's history and even had statues of heroes and villains from Redwall's past.<p>

'It was just one glass Cassandra deah.' Milton tutted. 'We have much more at several of our homes.'  
>Cassandra eyed Jeremy nastily. 'I am one of the wealthiest beasts in the country. I could have you put in prison if I wanted.'<p>

A gun was pointed to her head, 'How about me? One that actually deserves it.' A nasty voice laughed.  
>The reason the stagecoach had stopped was because a bandit was tailing it.<br>It was a weasel. He wore a cowboy hat, an eyepatch and a large earring. He twirled his gun expertly.  
>'Now that I know how wealthy you really are I suggest you give me everyone you have on you.'<br>The extremely wealthy hedgehog took off her necklace, earrings, bracelets, diamond ring and tiara and handed them to the weasel.  
>'No... that's not enough. You other rich geez... you must be carrying insane amounts of money on you and you wouldn't happen to have the deeds to any of your homes do you?'<p>

Milton wouldn't admit anything.  
>'Come'on... what's more important your money or your life. You can't use your money if you're dead so you might as well give your entire fortune to me. I control your life and death now.'<br>The drivers were too scared to say or do anything. Milton opened a suitcase with several hundred dollars in it.  
>'This was the money I was going to give to the mayor of Spike City as a donation for his new jail.'<p>

The weasel scowled.  
>'Okay I'll have to take it now.'<br>Marin quickly pulled out her pistol and shot the weasel in the arm causing him to drop his weapon before he could even react.  
>He screamed in pain and was swearing like crazy.<p>

Marin jumped on him and pointed her gun directly between the eyes.  
>'Give her back her items or you die!'<br>The weasel grunted. 'If I survive I'm getting the death sentence for sure. This was my eight offense. Do what you want with me Missy it makes no difference. If you kill me now it'll just save me the indignity.'

She told Jeremy and the hedgehogs to find some rope and tie him up so they could take him to Spike City and bring him to justice.  
>The Quillbucks refused to do any manual labour or get close to him so Jeremy tied him up.<br>They threw him on the stagecoach and he was whimpering in pain.

They eventually got to Spike City. Population: Mainly hedgehogs  
>The weasel was arrested and taken into custody.<p>

Mayor Adams congratulated Marin for her quick shooting and stopping the heist.  
>'Mr. Mayor? I want to join your law enforcement.'<br>The mayor thought about that. 'You have a good enough resume for me. Sheriff take her under you wing she is now part of your command.'  
>The sheriff an otter who usually always slept in front of the jail with his hat over his eyes agreed.<br>'Come'on time we trained you about how we do things here. Also I'll give you a tour of this city but first let's celebrate. You and I and your otter friend can go to the Pincushion Saloon and you kids can have some sasparillas on me. (A non-alcoholic drink)

They went into the Saloon and the sheriff who despite being a heavy drinker didn't touch any alcohol that day. He hadn't stopped a crime in six weeks and seeing young blood in the city he realized he was off of his game and decided to get back into action and work responsibly.  
>As they were in the Saloon drinking a toast to starting new lives the sheriff stated. 'Maybe someday you'll even stop the Phelps twins.'<p>

She was sure he was joking.

Quite a ways away the Phelps twins were hanging out in their lair.

Diana Phelps was a very tall fox. She and her twin brother Dexter were expert thieves. He stole for money and the thrill, she stole for jewelry and fame.

Dexter was missing his tail. He always wore a cowboy hat because he had a condition in which he had balding spots on his headfur.

His sister always wore a red dress as if she was going to a ball. She also wore huge silver earrings that almost touched her shoulders. When they weren't robbing he would spend the day counting their stolen money while she would primp herself non-stop often calling herself the fashion queen of the west.

A robin arrived at their hideout's door, 'Hey Dexter!' The robin hissed. 'I have news!'

He snarled at the robin, 'Shut up Flightbandit Save your beak for later.'

Flightbandit the eyes and ears of their operations groaned, 'The king of Dewpath was killed last night.' (Dewpath is the Redwall equivalent of Iceland)

'So.'

'Your Gramps was the one who did it!'

Dexter grinned, 'Grinned killed the old geezer? Is there an heir?'

'No.'

Dexter was excited. 'Diana listen to this! Gramps did in King Dewpath!'

She was ecstatic, 'Did he raid the treasury? Is he sending us some? A queen's crown would look good on my head.'

Flightbandit was grim, 'He didn't raid anything… he's being executed.'

Dexter started polishing his gun, 'Good riddance. If he gets caught then he's not worth being a thief thus not worth living.'

Flightbandit took off his tiny cowboy hat in despair, 'He ratted your entire family out. Mostly you two being as famous as you are. Dewpath is wiring a message to this very area telling them where your hideout is and are coming at this very moment!'

Dexter snarled at the Robin, 'Where did you find this out?'

'I read the local newspaper. It stated that you were snitched and I flew here as fast as I could.'

Dexter started gathering his things, 'We're leaving. Come'on Diana. You stay here Flightbandit.'

The robin was upset, 'Why?'

'To stall them when they come!'

'They'll know I was helping you… they're pretty smart.'

'Then they'll kill you. Bye we're going.'

Flightbandit was terrified, 'I'm not staying!'

Dexter pointed the gun at Flightbandit. 'You're saying I'm not worth sacrificing your life for? Your childhood friend when the three of us were orphaned Dibbuns before Gramps found us?'

Flightbandit was shocked that Dexter pointed a gun at him, 'We're pals! You would never shoot me!'

Dexter admitted it was a empty threat and that he couldn't kill his best friend.

'Lie to them, tell them anything but please… if they know you are allied with us try not to get an execution just a prison sentence. I worry about you…'

Flightbandit made it his duty to stay behind and stall the sheriff (An elderly squirrel with a bad back) While the two foxes after making a sneaky plan hightailed it out of there to the second closest City.

Milton Quillbuck owned several unused houses in SpikeCity. The night they had arrived he officially gave one to Marin for free for saving him and his wife.

'What about Jeremy?'

'What about him?'

Marin explained he had no home and was expecting him to get one for free too.

'Miss… you earned this house because you stopped a bandit and saved my wife and myself. Jeremy was just there… he did nothing. If I give one to him I might as well give some to the moles running the stagecoach and the owner as well.'

Marin sat in a chair in the house while Jeremy sat in a corner saying, 'Don't worry about me. I'll get a job and get my own house. Maybe we'll be neighbours someday.' He gave a nervous smile. He was starting to get cold footpaws on the whole "Job and new life" idea.

Marin refused because he would never be able to afford a house until he at least worked for a month, 'I request Jeremy share the house with me.'

Jeremy shook his head. 'Miss… please. I promised my Ma I'd make my own future. I don't need you as a stepladder. Forgive the expression.'

Marin's house was quite large. It had three rooms on the main floor, a staircase going up with a balcony overlooking the entrance and connected to three rooms on the upper floor.

'Come'on Jeremy. I'll be lonely, does one beast really need such a large home? And to tell you the truth. I don't know how to cook breakfast or anything for that matter.'

Jeremy grew up practically raised by the stove. He gave a slight grin, 'If I'm the only thing keeping you from starving I guess I have no choice.'

There were already beds and a stove as well as a table with chairs in the house. They were put in when the house was built.

Just then a Badger several seasons older than her arrived at the door.

'Hello.' He said.

'Hello.' She replied. 'Who are you?'

He was wearing the uniform of a mail carrier.

'I deliver mail. The Goodscargo stagecoach comes by filled with mail and I have to sort it and send it to every homeowner and business in the city. Word gets around fast in SpikeCity and I just came to tell you to expect mail sometime soon Marin.'

She added quickly, 'And Jeremy Grant he's living with me.'

The badger for a split second widened his eyes. 'Is he your…?'

'My what?'

He didn't know why he asked that. He just had to know… the question just nagged him subconsciously, 'Your lover.'

'No. We're just friends. And even if we were lovers he's an otter, you know most creatures don't approve of cross-species relationships. Why did you ask?'

The badger started blushing, 'I'm sorry I'm behind schedule. I'll probably see you in a week once your family finds out where you live and starts mailing to you.'

Marin asked him right as he was leaving the property, 'What's your name?'

'Barney!' He called back. 'Barney Tyler!'

The next morning Marin was supposed to start her training. Jeremy had slept in. He was lying on top of his covers exhausted from the previous day. His hat was hanging on the bed pole, and his jacket which he slept in was ruffled.

'Jeremy. Can you please make breakfast? I have to leave in a hour.'

Jeremy came down and was frying some toast, 'Do we have butter?'

'In the icebox. Maybe today we can go to the market and buy some mushrooms?'

Jeremy liked that idea and realized… 'Y'know Marin I likes cookin' maybe I could be a chef? You know in the Saloon or the Tasty Acorn restaurant? I think I'd have better luck with that than a banker. I just assumed since I like countin' I'd be good at it but I want to be a chef.'

'Whatever you like Jeremy.'

Jeremy the previous night had been tossing and turning. He kept having a recurring dream.

He dreamt he was at a campfire in a wooded area cooking a pancake. He was wearing a red tunic and had several tattoos on his lower arms.

He was speaking to a shrew who wore a coloured headband and was a carrying a sword.

'I like me a good pancake. I always wanted to cook for the Abbey.' He said.

'You did?' asked the Shrew.

'Yeah. Skipper doesn't want me too… says I'm supposed to be a "warrior" I hate fighting. I never fought in my life so why should I start?'

The shrew pointed to figures emerging from the trees, 'THAT'S WHY! There's twenty vermin coming! Run…'

'I need to get my supplies!' His dream cried.

'SHUT UP ABOUT THE SUPPLIES JUST RUN!'

The Shrew was gone and a second later a spear flashed towards the dream otter's face and he woke up.

He always woke up covered in sweat from the scary dream.

The western world wasn't very big on Philosophy at the time so barely anybeast ever spoke of "Past lives" and "Reincarnation" so he had no idea those words even existed.

He always just shook the dream off and lived the day normally. He would have the dream once every two weeks. Always on a Monday…'

Dexter and Diana arrived into town around noon. Ever since the days of Redwall society had evolved and vermin weren't as bloodthirsty as they used to be, some were actually very pleasant. Though deep down they had anger problems. Mainly the bloodthirstiness evolving into just being jerks. Starting brawls in saloons or being rude in general but many were friendly or tried to be as well as they could.

That's not saying psychotic murderers still didn't exist. Dexter would kill anyone for money and no-beast would get in his way… the fact he and his sister trained themselves to be extremely agile and good shooters they were also cunning and devious.

Dexter had shaved off all of his headfur and most of his backfur leaving fur all over his old hideout before he left. He also cut his arm slightly letting some blood fall around said fur. Making it look like he was in a struggle and Flightbandit would admit he saw the whole thing. That Dexter and Diana were killed.

The police didn't fall for it and took the robin into Custody.

'Now Diana your name is Sophie Loren. I am Max Wellaim. We can't talk to each-other in this city nor can I show my back or head. Someone will know there's a mysterious shaved fox around. Exactly whom the police will be looking for if they see through our ruse.'

They went in opposite directions to lie low. Maxwell that day rented a house. That happened to be right next door to Marin.

To be continued in part 2


End file.
